Are Your Desires Controlling You? or Are You Controlling Your Desires?

Desires. We all have them. To have desires is to be human. We were created with the ability to have desires. Desires turned to dreams move us to achieve things in life.

A desire is a strong feeling of wanting to have something or wishing for something to happen. We have physical, emotional, spiritual and mental desires.  But not all desires are good for us; the fulfillment of some desires would negatively impact us and/or those around us. Imagine what would happen if you went through with the desire you felt when a driver cut you off, or when a person cut into line in front of you?

To have everything we desire would certainly lead to our demise. We literally could not handle getting everything we desire. Imagine for a moment that you actually did get everything you desired. Where would your life be today?

Many of us look back and are thankful that we did not get some of the things we desired. At the same time, many of us know we would have been better off had some of our desires been realized.

Here is a challenge we all face: We cannot stop having desires, nor can we always decide what desire will result in positive or negative outcomes. This is part of the human condition. So how do we deal with our desires in a way that is good for us, good for those around us, and an honor to God?

Your desire for God should guide all other desires.

This should be the compass that gives direction for all our desires. How will what I desire right now honor God if it is fulfilled? Psalm 37:4 tells us, “Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart” (NIV). This is a promise from God. As we learn to delight in God, we also begin to desire the things God desires: peace, forgiveness, grace, love, equality, respect and dignity for all.

How does fulfilling my desires reflect my core values and the person I am aspiring to be?

This is big. Many times we give into the feelings of desire without considering how it will impact our core values, or how it will affect the person we aspire to be, until it’s too late.

Too many spouses have left their marriage in pursuit of a strong desire for someone else. Too many leaders have fallen by giving into a desire that led them off course.

While desires may be strong, always take the time to measure them against your core values and the person you aspire to become.

Get it out of your head.

This is probably the biggest mistake we make when it comes to dealing with our desires: we keep it in our heads. Getting it out helps to release the emotional stronghold desires can have on us. Write it out and go over it; compare it to where you are going with your life. Share it with others you trust to give you fair and objective feedback. A word of caution: the desire you find yourself wanting to keep to yourself is the desire you most need to share.

For Consideration

• What do you desire right now and is it consistent with your core values?
• How have you dealt with strong desires you knew were unhealthy for you or a dishonor to God?
• Are you confused about a strong desire, or struggling to break free from a desire that has been holding you prisoner?

Call us at 208-880-0307 or email us at errolcarrim@gmail.com to schedule a complimentary coaching session. To read Errol’s other posts, such as Becoming a Wounded Healer or Being the Best You can be for Others, visit Christ-Centered Life Coaching.