When it comes to love, sex and dating, the advice seems endless. As a matter of fact, you can find any advice that you most want to believe. Or, if you will be honest with yourself, you must admit that God’s design for love, sex and dating is still the only right and most beneficial way.

This brings me to why this week I have chosen to blog on the topic of love, sex and dating. For one thing, I believe the readership of my blog should have a clear and consistent message to offer those who would seek their advice in this area.

Secondly, I am committed to sharing great resources with you whenever I come across them. So in this week’s blog, I will share a great resource I recently found in the form of a book written by Andy Stanley founder of North Point Ministries in Atlanta, Ga. The book, The Rules for Love, Sex & Dating, has to be one of the most insightful and powerful books I have read on the topic.

The book is written in such a way that anyone can read it (Christian or non-Christian) and come away with a clear and Biblical understanding of God’s design for love, sex and dating. Stanley does not focus on all the biblical reasons for sexual abstinence before marriage, as so many books on the topic written from a Christian perspective tend to do. What he does is focus on the devastating consequences of being sexually active before marriage and the rewards of abstinence to the marriage relationship; from there, he moves to the biblical foundation for his argument. He does this throughout the book, and it is well done, effective and life changing.

Promise cannot replace preparation. “In the realm of relationship, unlike any other arena of life, we operate from the premise that a promise replaces the need for preparation.” (36) Andy argues that commitment and promise cannot replace preparation. Thus most of the book is about how one prepares for a life of love, sex and dating.

How does one prepare to commit? “Becoming the right person is how you prepare to commit” (47). Becoming the right person greatly increases the odds of a sustained, healthy relationship when you meet the right person.

The way to meet the right person according to Andy, is to become the person that the person you are looking for is looking for. This then becomes the theme of the book as Andy takes the reader on a journey of preparation in how to become the person that they are looking for is looking for. It is about personal responsibility and choosing the best path possible that will lead to a sustained and healthy marriage relationship.

Andy’s challenge to people who are single and sexually active is to take a year off dating in order to become the right person. During this year, he suggests they focus on five things. Address their past, break bad habits, set standards, get out of debt and go back to church. As Andy explains what these all mean, it becomes clear that if anyone takes this “dating sabbatical” seriously, they gain clarity. And clarity often leads to finding the right person.

The book is easy to read because of Andy’s writing style. It is like having a conversation in which he answers your questions.

I recommend this book to parents to help their children, to pastors and leaders to help those they lead, and to young singles desiring to gain a clear, healthy and biblical perspective on love, sex, and dating.

I received this book from North Point Publishing (andystanley.com) in exchange for this review.

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