With all the knowledge, skills, talents and drive you may have, if you are not emotionally self-aware, you will struggle at succeeding with your life’s goals.
You do not have to look far to find someone who has failed at achieving their life’s goals because they did not take the time to know who they were emotionally, how to control their emotions, and what motivated their emotions. You may have experienced consequences due to lack of awareness of emotional strengths and weaknesses; you failed because you thought you were strong in an area where you were actually weak.
Knowing your emotional strengths and weaknesses, embracing them, being able to control your emotions, and knowing what motivates you are all aspects of emotional intelligence. The concept was made popular in the mid ‘90s by Daniel Goleman in his groundbreaking book, Emotional Intelligence. Since this groundbreaking work, you hardly hear talk about self-improvement, which does not include a focus on emotional intelligence.
If you are going to achieve your life goals and rediscover your passion for life, you will need to develop your emotional intelligence (EQ). Three things should happen for you to grow in EQ: (1) you must become self-aware, which will lead to (2) proper self-management, (3) which should help you understand what motivates you.
Self-awareness is the ability to know your emotional strengths and weaknesses and to be OK with them. You should be able to admit where you are weak and ask for help, as well as embrace your strengths.
Perhaps you believe that admitting weaknesses is a sign of weakness. In reality, to admit your weaknesses is really a sign of strength. It takes a strong person to admit they need help.
Here is the good news about weaknesses: we all have them, so there’s no need to pretend you do not have any.
As a self-aware person you take responsibility for your emotions. You do not place the blame on others for your anger, hurt, happiness or joy.
As a self-aware person you know you alone are responsible for your emotional responses or reactions to life. Whatever emotional reaction life elicits is always what you allow.
Self-management is the ability to control your impulses to use them for good. The emotion you feel when you get angry could be used for good or ill depending on whether you are in control of the emotion or the emotion is controlling you. Anger used positively will result in changes for the better. Anger out of control and used for ill results in hurt and destruction.
As you develop your EQ in the area of self-management you learn to turn even the most powerfully negative emotional experience into something positive because you are in control of your emotions.
Motivation is what drives you from your core to pursue your life’s goals and live with passion, vision, purpose and excellence. Emotions determine how we do in life by enhancing or limiting our capacity to use our innate abilities.
Money, prestige, status, or power will drive you to a point. But all these can be sabotaged by negative emotions. Motivation is the result of knowing yourself and managing your emotions, so you make the best choices in pursuit of your life goals.
A word of caution in conclusion: Embracing your strengths and weaknesses, controlling your emotions, and knowing what motivates you are no guarantee that you will not make mistakes or fail at some things. You are still an imperfect human being who will get it wrong sometimes.
The good thing about developing your EQ in the three areas mentioned above is when you do get it wrong, you will admit it, take responsibility, deal with it, and continue with the pursuits of your goals.
If you would like help in achieving your goals as a leader or in any area of your life, call us at 208-880-0307 or email us at errol@errolcarrim.com to schedule a complimentary coaching session. To read Errol’s other posts, visit Christ-Centered Life Coaching.