“Forces beyond your control can take away everything you possess except one thing, your freedom to choose how you will respond to the situation.” – Viktor E. Frankl
How do you respond when life treats you unfairly? What do you do when you are hurt by someone you love and trust? How do you respond when things are done to you by powers beyond your control? We all have stories of pain and disappointment. The question is how do you allow your story (or stories) of pain and disappointment to affect and shape your life?
For many of us, we have allowed the effects of our stories to continue to affect our lives in unhealthy and harmful ways. We say and believe things such as, “I would have been a better adult had my parents raised me better;” “I would have done better in school if my teachers were better;” “I would have done better at my job be it not for my boss or co-worker.”
At every stage along life’s journey we could find someone to blame for our struggles in life. Actually blaming others when things go wrong is nothing new. It started with Adam and Eve. When God asked Adam why he ate from the tree that He commanded him not to eat from, Adam said it wasn’t him “but the woman you (God) put in the garden here with me.” The woman then blamed the serpent (Gen. 3:8-13).
To blame others is our first response, and it comes naturally to us. But it takes hard work and determination to take responsibility for our freedom to choose in the face of life’s most difficult, painful and unfair situations. The thing we have to know, embrace and believe with all that is within us is that regardless of what others may do to us, the one thing they cannot take from us is the freedom we have to choose how we will respond.
You could either choose to let pain and unfairness continue to shape the rest of your life, which many have done. Or you can choose not to let what others have done to you define you. You can choose not to let the unfairness of how you were treated and the hurt you felt define the rest of your life, like your career, family relationships, relationship with the opposite gender, your spiritual life.
When you allow your life to be defined by the pains others have caused you, what you are doing is really giving away your freedom to choose how you will respond. On the other hand when you choose not to allow your life to be defined by the pain, what you are doing is exercising your freedom to choose and to decide how your life will be shaped regardless of what others do to you or take from you.
The freedom to choose how you will respond to whatever challenges you face in life is the most basic and powerful life changing tool you have in your possession. Do you realize not even God can take that from you?
Whatever the situation you may be facing today – know this, you have the power and freedom to choose how you will respond. And know that your response could be in one of two ways. You could either respond in a way that brings about the desired intent of the one who is hurting you, or your response could be in a way that is in your best interest. Either way, how it affects your life will depend on how and if you decide to use your freedom to choose how you will respond.
Don’t give away your freedom to choose how you will respond by allowing your life to be shaped by the pains others have caused you. Rather, reclaim your freedom to choose by responding in ways that are in your best interest.
If you would like help in achieving your goals in any area of your life, call us at 208-880-0307 or email us at errol@errolcarrim.com to schedule a complimentary coaching session. To read Errol’s other posts, visit Christ-Centered Life Coaching.